91.33Ks 1month

wow its a long time coming i remember when i couldn't even do one lap with out breathing uncontrollably and, with out my back hurting now im doing 3miles in one session and 5 in total in one day. i feel blessed and happy that i made that change im not to my goal yet but im going to get there in a minute

The LOIN IS BACK

yea I'm going to try this one more time

THE LIFE OF A LION

I'm a lion: i only show my teeth when I'm about to eat... i walk with pride even when I'm empty in side... i chase only for my lioness with out that there's no bliss... plus do you really wanna see a lion when he's pissed...

Untiled

trying to maintain thru the pain but all that ever run thru my brain is when it was you and i some times i feel like its better to die all i know is i can't sleep thru the night because its a steady fight people telling me everything going to be alright but i ain't hear it from you is this something i gotta go thru i ain't eat in days feeing it in the worst way my heart beating slow bearly moving nothing is soothing my world I'm losing with my hand stuck out 3 strikes i struck out my better half or the empty half of the glass how can i think positive when theres no light all my days are night ain't as strong as i make my self out to be possibilities are no longer reality lost my crown no longer royalty tryin to drink my self away but i cant do it you always told me i can make it thru it kinda recorded in my mind soul searching but i will never find...

"everyone is looking for a little joy in their life me I'm just trying to make it through the night..." -Theeon J

I trying to maintain

Its been a long time

"everyone is looking for a little joy in their life me I'm just trying to make it through the night..." -Theeon J

LOVE

What can I say I love my family with all my heart all my siblings aunts uncles parents step parents nieces nephews cousins. I love every single one them.family is very important to my life. THANK GOD FOR FAMILY

SOUTHERN LIGHTS

SOUTHERN LIGHTS mix tape coming soon

Sunday dinner

I cant see life without sunday dinners with the family. Most weeks that's all I look for. Its the only time we really get together. We share memories and good laughs together. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Sometimes I wish we can spend more time out side of family sundays dinners. So that I can get to know my older siblings more since there is a big generational gap. With the good comes the bad I wish I could spend and share good times with my family on my mothers side. Its rare that we all spend time. So if I could put something together where we all spend together would be nice. All in all I love my family the good the bad the ugly.


There is nothing like family love.

I'm lost or am I losing

Ladies and gentlemen I been doing well on my diet *pats self on the back*. This update is not about me doing well on my diet but about two ladies who are in my life. VP and lady (have not wrote about her in awhile) vp left me cold turkey lady is still here. Vp just one day stopped coming by texting calling and everything in between. That bothers me how someone can seem like they care then one day just up and leave. I miss her witty comments and smart remarks. I at one point in time thought I could fully open up to her oh how was I wrong. She gone with out even a goodbye just gone. Now there is lady for some odd reason I cant let go. She and I are always on the phone together and if we aren't then we are texting. She makes me mad by pushing my buttons. With all the bad comes the good the best. She makes me feel like I can do any thing in the world. The problem comes from the fact we had are love fling and she burned out and is done while im still wanting more.the worst feeling is having the girl you want in your life but you cant have her. Im not mad or sad I'm just um how do I put it im just wanting. For the people who say let go may have never let go before because its the hardest thing to do.with her when I look in to her eyes I see promise and a thousand for evers.


To live without dreaming is to dream without living

New update soon

I will update my blog with a new post later on today.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

Happy mother day to all the women in my life. Let me try to run down the list of womanly figures in my life. 1st I would like to say thank you to my sister in law karma. She is one of the nicest woman I know. She is willing to listen to my women problems lol. Then there is my sister shay. She willing to help out when she can. We have a love hate relationship all jokes. Then there is my stepmother glow. What can I say lol we may bump heads but its all love. She makes my dad happy and that's all I can ask for. Now for the grand finale. My mother we may not see eye too eye but its all love I love that lady. For mothers day this year I bought her a diamond necklace from kays. Shes worth it and some shes a strong back woman.
Life starts with her without her I would not have my beautiful siblings. Thank you to all the ladies in my life who help me grow for better.


Love the ones who love you

Pushing away

Im what people call a pusher (no super fly pimp drug dealer) but a pusher is someone who push away people before they cann be left.well today I pushed and I pushed hard as me and VP went for a walk I knew she was going leave me once again when she gets in to the school of her choice. Or when she finds the job shes been looking for. So for some dumb reason I picked a fight with her to the point where she said today is the last day we will walk together. My pride wouldn't show it but I was hurting because I pushed her to no return. She was mad and hurt. Then I realized I dont want to lose what we have. So I tried to mend the broken friendship but I feel as though if I mend it you still can see the cracks. As we walked backed we talked and shared some laughs but yet it felt empty. I do all the gentleman duties for her. I walk on the outside of the sidewalk. I open doors and supportive. Call just to know she got home safe. This is not on some im trying to holla type. Never really crossed my mind. She pretty and real she speaks her mind so shes not for the weak. She is more then helpful. She makes me smile. At the same time makes me mad lol. She is one the most smartest girls I know. I just pray I didnt push her to far. If I did I hope I can fix it.

ONE person ONE life ONE dream ONE DEEP

PS I took this picture on our walk kinda reminds me of what I think the garden of eden

If you leave

Life had been biter sweet for your boy. With the passing of my grand ma I been a little depressed. I really dont want to go to far in to the topic because I have not come to terms with the death. On the good side my two best friends are back. I have been hanging with them good times. We enjoyed cinco de mayo. Also my good friend VP is back from school I missed her. She is going back to medical school and shes waiting for her acceptance letter. She asked me do I think she will get in I told her im 100% sure she would get in. She asked me how I know I told her because she is the smartest girl I know. But in my mind I was saying because every time something goes good I lose it. I didn't tell her because I didnt want to come off selfish.


I hope this will be the restart of my blogging

Ps the picture is from the cinco de mayo funny thing is both of my friend aren't even mexican lol

ONE love ONE person ONE life ONE DEEP

Day one of the Work out

1st off let me start of with HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH!!!

ON TO THE NEXT...

After having a very moving talk to my eldest brother I knew it was time for a change. He knew where I was coming for with the health problems I was having with being over weight. He knew the extra struggle of having back pains and not able to tell any one. Today I was doing well didn't eat alot/pig out drank a lot of water and even planned to go work out with my step mom. I was amped to go walking/ work out. I had my ipod and good play list of music I was ready. so we get out to the church to work out I still felt amped. Then I realized I was with a bunch of older women (45-70). I was thinking since I'm obese x3 I could keep up. I was getting my walk on 1st lap done... 2nd lap done. Ok now my back is starting to hurt just a little. So I'm like what the heck let me go in the bath room and stretch losing up my back. Then ok its not feeling a little better I knock out 4 more laps on that last lap I find my step mom. I ask for the keys to get some water out the car. In my thoughts I was saying I'm just going to take a break and sit down. When I sat down that's when my body gave out my legs began to cramp up and that's when I called it quits. I think its going to be hard to show my face back here. I'm sure people are goin to talk about me. It bothers me knowing people are going to talk behind my back it would be easier if they would say it to my face. Now I never said I was giving up and I'm done. I jus realized its going to be much harder and might be the biggest task I ever had to tackle. I just pray to GOD that it will get easier with work.

I also have been working on my new sleeping pattern. I'm trying to go to bed earlier vs going to bed at 7am and waking up at 3pm. So what my eldest brother suggested was stay up until 6am but get up with the family at 9am. Through out the day no naps. So far I did take a nap but I'm sleepy right now so I hope I will get the full effect of fixing my sleep pattern.

Dream BIG do BIG be BIG

dont count me out

Ok im going try this again here i go... oh yeah this year has been good so far woot woot woot